Jersey Beaters, Punk Rock Defeaters

Do you believe in miracles? This was Jersey Beat's 7th year at BYO's Punk Rock Bowling Tournament in Las Vegas and somehow, we won Third Place. It was a total team effort, a lot of pluck, a few lucky strikes, and a bunch of clutch spares, not to mention a 'Perfect Storm' ranking that let us play teams we could actually beat (even without our considerable handicaps) for three playoff rounds.



On the first day, when all 168 teams go at it, we somehow finished in 20th place, which put us in the Top 32; then on the second day of play, we advanced to the Top 16, then to the Top 8, and then, implausibly and miraculously, to the Top 4. And while we lost before advancing to the finals, since we had higher total score than the next best team, we won Third Place. Andy Peters (ex Maxwells soundman) had a couple of great games, Johnny Puke picked up some clutch spares, our new member Tia Clark bowled like a true champion given her inexperience, and while I didn't have the highest scores, I definitely had the flashiest Ralph Kramden va-va-voom moves every time I hit a spare or strike.





Of course there's other stuff besides bowling. We are, after all, in Vegas. On the first night, I got reamed in the Punk Rock Poker tournament - didn't really play badly, just didn't get any good cards. I did outlast Matty Dogwig from the Bouncing Souls posse at least... And the poor kid who went all in on the second hand and lost, three of a kind with pocket kings to a girl who pulled three aces.



I played blackjack with the Insubordination Records team and our table hit a hot streak; I walked away winning $50 and then was smart enough to keep it in my pocket. Sam's Town - probably the most white-trash casino in Vegas, with its wonderfully cheesy audio-animatronic forest waterfall laser spectacular - again played host to a couple of thousand career punks without anybody getting stabbed or (as far as I know) arrested. Massive quantities of alcohol were consumed (I hit a streak of six Bloody Marys) and very little sleep was had. We also saw some bands - Off With Their Heads (whose Zac informed me on Friday night of the news from home that the Steinways broke up), American Steel, the Dwarves (who totally rocked all their old hardcore-punk hits,) Tiltwheel (who gave us not one but two Replacement covers)...



It was, as it always is, crazy drunken fun surrounded by people who live and breath punk rock 24/7, which makes it extra special. And even if I'm not covered with tattoos or dress like a roadie, I feel like I belong when I'm there. Gabba gabba, we accept you, one of us, one of us, y'know?




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